Blog Post

We are thrilled to share some truly exciting news for the future of Collaborative Practice in the Commonwealth. The merger between the Virginia Collaborative Professionals (VaCP) and Collaborative Professionals of Northern Virginia (CPNV) is complete and official.

All required approvals and filings with the Commonwealth of Virginia have been finalized. We are proud to move forward together under our new, unified name: Collaborative Professionals of Virginia (CPV).

This is a big moment. After months of thoughtful planning, collaboration, and shared vision, we have come together as one statewide organization, strengthening our collective voice and expanding opportunities for Collaborative professionals across the Commonwealth.

What This Means for Our Members

• For all former VaCP members who were not part of CPNV and who elected to continue
  have successfully transitioned into Collaborative Professionals of Virginia. We are
  actively working to update our website to include your bios and should have this
  completed in January.
• Membership dues paid to VaCP for 2025 have been credited toward 2026 dues (which
  remain due annually by January 15). An email will be sent shortly regarding upcoming
  adjusted dues for the upcoming year.
• Members now enjoy full access to statewide programming, resources, leadership
  opportunities, and benefits—more connection, more collaboration, more impact.

Local Practice Groups: Stronger Together

Our local practice groups—Richmond, Roanoke, Shenandoah—remain a vital and valued part of
who we are. Each group may continue hosting meetings, educational programs, and networking
events, with funding support for at least one annual local event. Even better, members are
welcome at events across the state, creating new opportunities to learn, connect, and
collaborate.

Governance and Statewide Representation

This merger reflects our commitment to inclusive, statewide leadership. Representation from
across Virginia is built into the Board, and all members, regardless of location, are encouraged to
step into leadership roles and help shape the future of Collaborative Practice in Virginia.

A New Name, A Shared Future

We are proud to officially operate as Collaborative Professionals of Virginia. Updated
branding and a refreshed website are on the way, while preserving the structure and functionality
members know and value.
This merger is more than an administrative change, it’s a celebration of our shared mission, our
growing community, and our collective commitment to Collaborative Practice. Thank you for
your trust, engagement, and enthusiasm throughout this process. We can’t wait to see what we
accomplish together.
Here’s to this exciting new chapter and I look forward to collaborating with you in 2026! 🎉

By Tashina Gorgone, Esq.

When most people think about collaborative law, they picture couples working through their initial divorce or separation with the help of trained professionals. While collaborative law has gained traction in Virginia for its ability to reduce conflict and preserve relationships in the initial divorce phase, this approach can be equally powerful for post-divorce modifications.

Life doesn't stand still after a divorce decree is signed. Children grow up, careers change, health issues arise, and financial circumstances shift. When these changes require modifications to custody arrangements, spousal support, or other terms of your divorce agreement, collaborative law offers an appealing alternative to traditional litigation.

The Ongoing Nature of Family Relationships

Whether you need to modify child custody schedules, adjust support payments, or address relocation issues, the collaborative process acknowledges something that courtroom battles often miss: you'll likely need to work together as co-parents or former spouses for years to come.

Traditional modification proceedings can reignite old conflicts and create new ones. When you're back in an adversarial setting, it's easy to fall into familiar patterns of blame and defensiveness. Collaborative law, by contrast, maintains the cooperative framework that may have served you well during your initial divorce.

Cost-Effective Problem Solving

Modification hearings can be surprisingly expensive, especially when they involve complex custody evaluations or extensive discovery. In collaborative law, you're working with the same team-based approach that likely saved you money during your divorce. (Or, you are looking for an alternative to litigation because you saw how harmful that is in your initial divorce proceedings.) Your collaborative attorneys, along with financial specialists and family coaches when needed, can help you address changes efficiently without the overhead of court proceedings.

If you previously used the Collaborative Process before, the experience is particularly cost-effective for modifications because the groundwork has already been laid. Your collaborative professionals understand your family dynamics, financial situation, and communication patterns. This institutional knowledge allows them to focus quickly on the specific changes needed rather than starting from scratch.

Preserving Children's Well-Being

For families with children, the benefits of collaborative modifications are especially pronounced. Kids who watched their parents work together respectfully during the divorce process understand that cooperation is possible even during difficult times. When modifications are needed, using the collaborative approach reinforces these positive patterns. Furthermore, if they've seen their parents successfully navigate challenges through collaborative law, they're more likely to trust that future changes will be handled with the same level of care and respect for everyone's needs.

Flexibility and Creative Solutions

Virginia's family courts operate within established legal frameworks, which can limit the creative solutions available for unique family situations. Collaborative law allows you to think outside traditional legal remedies and develop modifications that truly work for your family's specific circumstances.

For example, a collaborative team might develop a graduated modification schedule that adjusts over time, or create innovative arrangements that address both parents' career demands while prioritizing the children's stability. These solutions often prove more durable than court-imposed modifications because all parties have participated in creating them.

Fixing Errors or Unintended Consequences

Despite everyone’s best efforts to “get it right” in the initial phase of divorce, there are at time inadvertent issues. Whether those issues are typographical errors rendering a provision untenable, mathematical errors regarding support or asset distribution, or unintended consequences stemming from custodial arrangements, the Collaborative model is designed so that neither parent can take advantage of a good faith error. Many Collaborative agreements require at least an initial return to the process in order to take advantage of the transparency provided to all parties.

When Collaborative Modification Makes Sense

Collaborative law works best for modifications when both parties are committed to finding solutions that work for everyone involved. It's particularly effective when:

• The changes needed are significant but not emergency situations
• Both parties want to maintain a cooperative co-parenting relationship
• The modification involves complex financial or custody arrangements
• Previous collaborative processes have worked well for your family
• You want to minimize the impact on children

Moving Forward Together

Virginia's collaborative law community has developed sophisticated approaches to post-divorce modifications that recognize the ongoing nature of family relationships. Rather than viewing each modification as a new battle to be fought, collaborative law treats them as natural adjustments to agreements that were always meant to evolve with your family's needs.

If you're facing the need for modifications to your divorce agreement, consider whether the collaborative approach that may have served you well initially can continue to provide a framework for positive change. The investment in maintaining cooperative relationships often pays dividends not just in the immediate modification process, but in creating a foundation for handling future changes with grace and mutual respect.

The goal isn't just to modify your agreement—it's to demonstrate that even when circumstances change, families can adapt while preserving the relationships that matter most.

By Michelle Bieber, Esq.

The Collaborative Divorce team is a group all working together for the benefit of the family.  Every party will have his or her own lawyer, but there are a number of other professionals and specialists working together to assess the needs of the family and assist with moving the process forward.

Meet the team:

Attorney: Your attorney will assist in gathering and analyzing information, evaluating consequences and settlement options, often in the context of various laws and statutes in your jurisdiction, and will ultimately prepare the required documentation to finalize your divorce.  Collaborative attorneys will offer legal advice, but with the goal of finding common ground and coming to a mutually beneficial agreement, rather than taking an adversarial approach like in traditional litigation.

Financial Specialist: A collaborative financial neutral can help with sorting through the family finances, which can often feel (and be) overwhelming.  The role of the financial professional can be to gather financial data, prepare net worth statements, prepare budgets, provide financial guidance, explain tax consequences, and evaluate/value assets.

Divorce Coach: A divorce coach is a mental health professional who can help develop and reinforce effective communication, help the team understand relevant aspects of the family history and dynamics, assist with managing conflict, and help develop strategies to support the transition into two households, particularly in cases where children are involved.

Child Specialist: The child specialist is a mental health professional functioning as a neutral to focus on the needs of the children in cases involving custody issues, typically a child psychologist or therapist with expertise in child development.  A child specialist can help develop a narrative to explain the divorce process to the children; assess the needs of the children and evaluate what parenting plan will be in the children’s best interests; and assist parents in developing a child-centered plan and communicating with each other.

By Joshua Isaacs, Esq

As members of the Northern Virginia community, we are all too well aware of the “Fork in the Road” email that was sent to nearly all federal government employees from the Office of Personnel Management (OPM) on January 28, 2025.  While for most the initial thought would go to those federal government employees who received the message and were forced to make a significant and difficult decision within a relatively short period of time, I suspect that experienced family law practitioners who are wired to view these issues through a different lens eventually thought about how such a decision may impact the financial arrangements surrounding separated and/or divorced families.  For instance, how will Courts treat modification and enforcement proceedings for individuals operating under existing Support Orders who opted to take the early resignation?  What will the Courts do with people who do not accept the buyout, only to be terminated without the extended compensation offered to those who agreed to an early resignation by the deadline provided?  What if those who resign early do not actually receive all of the benefits offered to them by the Fork in the Road email from OPM? How would all of this impact negotiations for parties who have not yet reached an agreement for a path forward?

The last question I believe brings about one of the many unique benefits that parties are afforded when they agree to participate in Collaborative Law.  Parties are already experiencing high levels of stress and emotion while they are going through a separation, especially when there are minor children involved, without the added complications associated with being forced to make the difficult decision that was presented to a great deal of federal government employees. Through Collaborative Law, the parties would have the benefit of a Professional Team in place that based on the objectives provided to them by both parties was focused on trying to find the best options that would maximize the possibility for the entire family to succeed in the future. As opposed to in litigation or other forms of alternative dispute resolution, a party in the Collaborative Law process receiving such an email could feel assured that they could share their feelings in a safe environment as they would know that their spouse’s lawyer was not trying to leverage their fear relating to this decision in an effort to obtain a better outcome for their client. The parties could have an honest and open discussion about the best path forward for their family, and reach a decision together with the assistance of their Professional Team. If the parties have already divorced utilizing the Collaborative Process and are now facing this issue, they would be able to reconnect with their Team of Collaborative Professionals to try to navigate the issue together, with the benefit of already being familiar with each other.

While the stress caused by difficult decisions such as the one facing federal government employees would only be compounded for already divorced or currently separated parties, the Collaborative Law process seems like a natural fit for families to try to address the issue in a healthy manner. If you are interested in exploring the benefits of the Collaborative Process and whether this is the best process for you, do not hesitate to reach out to one of the CPNV Collaborative Professionals.

By Jenna Hayba, Esq.

(1) Experienced Professionals

In a collaborative divorce, you work with a team of professionals who all specialize in their particular practice area. Lawyers for both parties are well-versed in divorce law. Financial professionals are the experts on the money “stuff.” Coaches are mental health professionals who know best how to handle the emotional aspects of your divorce. A child specialist is a mental health professional who knows how divorce affects families and children and how to best address these effects in a workable settlement. This aspect of a collaborative divorce means you are getting a professional with a wealth of knowledge in their area of expertise to assist you during one of the most difficult transitions for your family.

(2) Child Inclusivity

I often have parents ask how their children can express an opinion or share their thoughts in a non-collaborative case. When the case is litigated, my answer most of the time is “we can have them testify in court if we need to, but we want to try to avoid that unless it is absolutely necessary.” In a negotiated case, there may be no real space for the children to express their ideas or concerns outside of what they share with their parents.

In a collaborative divorce, the parties can engage a child specialist. The child specialist will meet with the parties’ children, allowing the children to have some voice in the process.

(3) Family-Focused Approach

At some point during most collaborative consultations, I express that in the collaborative process, the goal is to find a resolution that works for the family, as that is an important feature of the process that is unique from a non-collaborative divorce. Oftentimes in a non-collaborative divorce, the parties have adversarial goals and do not consider long-term effects of the decisions they make during the divorce process. During the collaborative process, the parties are offered a space in which they can assess what is going to work best for their family moving forward, because regardless of whether or not mom and dad are still living in the same house, they are connected as a type of family unit for the rest of their lives.

(4) Space for Communication

What occurs time and time again in my non-collaborative cases is that we get a settlement proposal from the other spouse’s attorney and my client asks me “Why do they want to do that?” or “Why are they proposing that?” My answer is usually “I can guess (and eventually ask), but I don’t know for sure.”

The collaborative process provides parties with a space where they can directly discuss the “why” behind their thoughts and ideas on a settlement or a particular issue.

(5) Teamwork

There is a phrase that I think is particularly apt for the collaborative process – “two heads are better than one.” In the collaborative process, sometimes we involve 3, 4, or 5 “heads.” This provides for a wealth of creative solutions to unique problems, or various options for the parties to consider about what might work for their family moving forward.

A collaborative divorce has many benefits. If you want more information about whether or not the collaborative divorce process may be beneficial for you and your family, reach out to a collaborative professional today!

By Christine Hissong, Esq.

            Separation and Divorce, custody, child support, and spousal support disputes are all emotionally charged situations.  The traditional court process exacerbates the fear, loss, and financial destruction often experienced during these difficult disputes. The Collaborative Process was born from the recognition that families need a supportive process that promotes peaceful and balanced resolution.  The foundation of the Collaborative Process is stability, respect, cooperation, and mutually satisfactory resolution.  The Collaborative Process is most effective, and the greatest benefits are realized when there is trust. -  Trust The Process. 

            Trust That Your Professionals Have Your Best Interests at Heart. 

            Your Collaboratively trained professionals are dedicated to the principals of the Collaborative Process.  They are trained to work together for the parties’ mutual benefit.   This is different from any other dispute resolution process. 

            In its most basic form, the Collaborative Process requires that each party has their own attorney.  It is important to understand that there are tasks that must be done.  For example, when parties have a house or other assets or debts, the parties need financial information collected, reviewed, analyzed, and prepared for use in the Process. They want to be sure that they have all the information they need and that they understand that information in order to make good decisions.  When parties have children, they need a workable parenting plan which takes into consideration any special needs or circumstances of the children and the parents.  When emotions threaten their progress, the parties want and need to talk through their thoughts and feelings.  They need to feel supported and heard.

            Your Collaboratively trained attorneys give legal advice, empowering you with information.  They support your decision making and power of self-determination while working with you to ensure that you choose an outcome that is viable and sustainable.

            Your Collaboratively trained neutral financial expert works directly with you, helping you to see and understand your financial picture both now and in the future, helping you to be confident in your decision making.

            Your Collaboratively trained Divorce Coach or Child Specialist guides you in the creation of your plan for your children, sharing valuable information that they bring to the process from their vast experience working with families as professional therapists and counselors.  They keep the case moving forward by supporting each party’s emotional health and wellbeing. 

            If there are only attorneys involved, all of these tasks fall to the attorneys.  When we add the other Collaborative professionals, the parties have the best trained and the most competent professionals working on the tasks for which they are uniquely qualified.  Ultimately, by moving these tasks from the attorneys to the other professionals, the Collaborative Process is more efficient and cost effective—Trust The Process. 

            Trust that the Process is Economical. 

            There is often a misconception that the Collaborative Process is more costly than litigation, particularly when considering the addition of other Collaborative Professionals. 

            Collaborative cases typically resolve much more quickly than litigated cases.  In a litigation, the case is not completed with the trial.  There is much to do post-trial, all of which translates to ongoing attorney fees.  Many people do not realize how much work and time it takes to prepare a case for trial or even for a short hearing.  A thirty minute hearing may take hours and hours of preparation.  These are just a couple examples of why the Collaborative Process is much more cost effective than litigation. 

            As previously mentioned, the use of neutral, financial experts, coaches, and child specialists on our teams helps to control costs.  In the Collaborative Process, the other professionals are neutral and support both parties.  In litigation, each party pays and retains their separate professionals to help them prepare their case and then to testify on their behalf.  The cost of having separate experts is significant and is often not a cost that a party can bear, which means that a party may ultimately have to forego the support of an expert. 

            The emotional and psychological costs of family disputes are significant.  The Collaborative Process is designed to reduce these costs by fostering a more respectful and cooperative environment.  The use of coaches in the process helps to mitigate these expenses and provides an indirect financial benefit. – Trust the Process.

            Trust that the Process is Timely and Efficient.

            In the Collaborative Process we are mindful of balancing the needs and expectations of the parties, and the speed of the process is one aspect that people experience differently.  The cooperative, team-based approach facilitates quicker decision making and quicker resolution, however, we also have the flexibility to cater to the unique circumstances of the individuals. 

            In the Collaborative Process, the professionals unite to move the parties forward, and we make the best use of resources to help the parties achieve the goal of a mutually satisfactory resolution in a timely manner.  – Trust the Process. 

            Trust that the Collaborative Process is designed as a safe and effective alternative to litigation, trust that your professionals want the best for your family, and you will then experience the true value of the Process. 

            If you are interested in exploring the benefits of the Collaborative Process and whether this is the best process for you, do not hesitate to reach out to one of the CPNV Collaborative Professionals. 

By Alex Xanttopoulos

Divorce is often portrayed as a battleground where couples fight tooth and nail for their interests. However, there's another approach gaining traction: collaborative divorce. This process emphasizes cooperation and mutual respect, aiming to find solutions outside of court. While collaborative divorce offers many benefits, it's not without its challenges—especially when clients come in with unrealistic expectations. As a lawyer navigating these waters, it's crucial to address and manage these expectations effectively.

Understanding Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is a non-adversarial approach to resolving disputes, where both parties work together, often with the support of legal and mental health professionals, to reach agreements that serve their mutual interests. Unlike traditional litigation, it encourages open communication, transparency, and creative problem-solving.

Some clients perceive collaborative divorce as a magic bullet that guarantees a swift and amicable resolution to all issues. While collaboration fosters cooperation, it doesn't erase the complexities inherent in divorce. Delays, disagreements, and emotional hurdles are still part of the journey.

Divorce is emotionally taxing, and collaborative divorce is no exception. Clients may underestimate the emotional toll of the process, expecting it to be smoother and less stressful than it often is.

The Pitfalls of Unrealistic Expectations

In collaborative divorce, setting realistic expectations is paramount for success. However, some clients enter the process with sky-high hopes or misguided beliefs about how things will unfold. These expectations can stem from various sources, including friends' experiences, misconceptions about the process, or emotional distress.

Clients may have an idealized vision of the outcome, expecting to walk away with everything they desire—from child custody to financial assets. However, divorce settlements require compromise, and achieving a win-win scenario often means letting go of some expectations.

As lawyers, it's our responsibility to guide clients through the collaborative divorce process while managing their expectations effectively. Here are some strategies to navigate this delicate balance:

1. Establish Realistic Goals:

From the outset, have frank discussions with clients about their goals and the likely outcomes. Help them understand the legal framework, potential challenges, and areas where compromise may be necessary.

2. Educate About the Process:

Provide clear explanations of how collaborative divorce works and what it entails. Address any misconceptions upfront and emphasize the importance of active participation, honesty, and respect throughout the process.

3. Foster Open Communication:

Encourage clients to express their concerns and questions openly. Create a safe space where they feel heard and supported. Facilitate communication between both parties, fostering a collaborative atmosphere.

4. Manage Emotions:

Acknowledge the emotional aspect of divorce and provide resources for emotional support when needed. Help clients separate their emotions from the legal process, ensuring they make decisions based on reason rather than impulse.

5. Prepare for Alternatives:

Despite best efforts, some cases may not proceed as planned. Prepare clients for the possibility of transitioning to traditional litigation if collaborative efforts falter. Assure them that regardless of the path taken, their best interests remain the priority.

Collaborative divorce offers a promising alternative to traditional litigation, promoting cooperation and empowerment for divorcing couples. However, unrealistic expectations can pose significant challenges along the way. By fostering open communication, managing emotions, and providing realistic guidance, lawyers can help clients navigate the complexities of collaborative divorce with confidence and resilience. Ultimately, it's about guiding clients toward a resolution that not only addresses their legal needs but also lays the foundation for a positive post-divorce future.

You’ve signed the Collaborative Participation Agreement.  You’ve had several sessions with your collaborative attorneys, financial neutrals, and child specialists.  You’ve come to a complete agreement that, miraculously, you and your spouse are both actually, mostly, happy with.  The assets have been divided, support has been resolved, and a custody schedule is in place.  So…now what?  How does the whole divorce thing happen?

The good news is, once you have gone through the collaborative process and come out the other side with a signed settlement agreement, the hard part is over.  The next steps are pretty simple, and do not involve actually having to set foot in a courtroom.

First, your lawyer will prepare a simple complaint for divorce.  The complaint will set forth the grounds for divorce required by Virginia statute (most likely separation for the requisite period of time) and note that the parties have a settlement agreement resolving all issues arising from the marriage.  Then, your spouse’s lawyer will have the opportunity to file an answer, most likely simply admitting all facts in the complaint.  One party will sign an affidavit, also prepared by his/her collaborative attorney, swearing that the parties have in fact been separated for the requisite time and desire to have the divorce entered.  Last, both attorneys will prepare and sign a Final Order of Divorce incorporating all of the terms of the settlement agreement and including certain statutory notices to allow the Court to finalize the divorce.

Once all of the paperwork is done, your collaborative attorney will submit all of the paperwork to the Court for entry of the Final Order of Divorce.  Once the Order is entered (meaning a judge has signed it)…you are officially divorced! 

By Patrice B. F, Garver, PhD

On February 20, 2024, the CPNV monthly membership meeting and training addressed the topic of triggers that professionals can experience within the collaborative process, presented by Stephanie Smith, Esq., Sarah Goding, Esq., Lynn Hawkins, Esq., and Natalie Goldberg, LCSW.  The presentation provided scenarios and role-playing of situations within the collaborative process that can present as triggers for us as professionals.

Examples of triggers in the collaborative process included such scenarios as when one team member might demonstrate dismissive comments and responses to the team.  Another situation can be controlling behavior of a team member or a client’s behavioral history can be triggering – in the example of committing adultery. There were other topics shared that provided examples of personal triggers that might sometimes stir up personal bias and/or discomfort.  The training also discussed strategies and different ways to handle and manage our reactions when we are triggered.

We were referred to a very informative resource book called “How We Can Stop Reacting and Start Healing: Triggers” by David Richo.

This helpful book is a great resource for collaborative professionals, but also a good resource for our clients. David Richo examines the neuroscience of triggers, the influence of our childhood experiences, and our emotional reactions that can be anger, fear, shame, and sadness. The author provides insight in helping us to understand our response and identifying our mind-body reaction, then helps us to develop strategies, resources, and “tools” to manage these big reactions, stay calm under pressure, and hopefully feel more in control or more able to respond under stress and when triggered.

One specific tool that the author addressed was naming the triggers. This helps us to discern between what happened factually from what impacts us personally. The author suggests things like making a list of our repeated triggers that lead us to look out for them and to have a plan to deal with them. This way, we can make a conscious response rather than react. We can also note our triggers in a journal and our usual reactions. With the language and caveat that in life “this can happen to anyone, and I have many options how I can respond.”

Another tool is to become aware of two reactions we might have to a trigger.  The author notes one is a runaway reaction and the other is a moving toward behavior in a grasping or controlling way. Just becoming aware of these two reactions can lower the tension and help us to regroup and address the situation more productively.

Regarding our neurobiology, Richo notes that triggers can create hyperarousal, which affects cortisol and adrenaline in our bodies resulting in “brain negativity.” In this heightened state, it is hard for us to access logical inner resources and hard to self-regulate. It emphasized how important it is to be more aware of our body reactions. Relaxation techniques can be useful interventions: for instance, using a deep breathing response.

I found another meaningful tool that the author notes is to trust our “inner healthy voice.” This voice advocates for us and is not self-critical. We also should access the voice of reason and encouragement, and it builds self-esteem. Richo equates this self- message to our kindly aunt or uncle that talks to you in supportive comforting way showing understanding rather than the message to rebuke ourselves for moments of weakness.  In addition, this self-advocacy voice and self-talk replaces messages of saying the worst will happen with a message “I have it in me to handle whatever happens.”

Another cognitive tool that the author notes is that indeed, it is human to take things personally, when they are aimed at us that way, and we are triggered. Richo notes that “a healthy practice is to feel our grief about how someone has hurt or offended us to say “ouch“ and validate those immediate feelings will help us to shift and move on.

“Triggers” by David Rico provides a clear understanding of our personal Triggers, how to handle them, and is a great resource for collaborative professionals as we navigate this challenging work and our life challenges.

In the ever-evolving landscape of legal practice, the pursuit of efficient, amicable, and cost-effective dispute resolution methods has become increasingly paramount. Traditional litigation, while effective in certain scenarios, can often be time-consuming, adversarial, and financially burdensome for parties involved. Recognizing the need for alternative approaches, the American Bar Association (ABA) has approved the Uniform Collaborative Law Act (UCLA) in promoting the Collaborative Divorce Process.

At its core, the Collaborative Divorce Process emphasizes communication, cooperation, and creative problem-solving. Parties, along with their attorneys, and often Coaches, Financial Neutrals and other professionals, engage in a series of face-to-face meetings and negotiations aimed at reaching mutually acceptable solutions. Unlike traditional litigation, where outcomes are often imposed by a judge, the Collaborative Divorce Process empowers parties to craft agreements tailored to their unique circumstances, fostering a sense of ownership and satisfaction with the resolution.

The ABA's approval of the UCLA underscores its commitment to promoting innovative and client-centered approaches to dispute resolution. By embracing the Collaborative Divorce Process principles, the ABA acknowledges the importance of empowering parties to maintain control over the outcome of their disputes while minimizing the emotional toll and financial strain associated with prolonged litigation.

For practitioners who practice the Collaborative Divorce Process, the ABA's recognition of the UCLA serves as a validation of the legitimacy and value of the Collaborative Divorce Process as a viable alternative to litigation. It encourages attorneys to explore collaborative approaches in their practice, equipping them with the tools and resources necessary to effectively navigate the Collaborative Divorce Process and advocate for their clients' interests in a collaborative setting.

Furthermore, the ABA's endorsement of collaborative law can have far-reaching implications beyond the legal profession. By promoting a culture of collaboration and consensus-building, the Collaborative Divorce Process contributes to a more harmonious and equitable society. It empowers individuals to resolve conflicts in a manner that preserves dignity, fosters understanding, and promotes long-term cooperation.

In conclusion, the ABA's recognition of the Uniform Collaborative Law Act represents a significant milestone in the advancement of alternative dispute resolution. As attorneys continue to embrace the Collaborative Divorce Process, the future of dispute resolution holds promises for a more collaborative, equitable, and resilient legal system.

Let’s face it – discussions about prenuptial agreements can sometimes turn what is supposed to be a happy and blissful engagement into a stressful and anxious time. Many individuals do not like to broach the topic of prenuptial agreements with their partner for fear that their partner will be hurt or upset at the idea. When most people think about negotiating a prenuptial agreement, the collaborative process is not top of mind, but it can be very well suited for couples trying to reach a prenuptial agreement.

For one thing, the collaborative process is goal and interest oriented. This means that the couple can come to the table (often literally) and express to one another what their goals and expectations are for marriage or in a potential, and hopefully unlikely, divorce. The couple is supported in these discussions by a team of professionals, which may include a collaboratively-trained mental health professional. These professionals are able to guide the couple through the process from both a legal and emotional perspective.

The collaborative process also provides a forum for open and honest discussion between the couple about their expectations in a marriage with regard to some difficult topics, such as management of finances, each of their financial positions and responsibilities coming into the marriage, as well as raising and supporting children. Traditional negotiations of a prenuptial agreement often place the couple in adversarial positions, which is not ideal for two partners who want, and likely need, to work together as a married couple in the near future. While there may be subjects on which the couple disagrees regardless of the process they use, in the collaborative process, the team approach can assist in alleviating the adversity that may rear its ugly head in traditional settlement negotiations involving a prenuptial agreement.

If you and your partner are considering a prenuptial agreement, you should speak with a collaboratively-trained professional to ascertain whether the collaborative process may be right for you.

Jenna Hayba is a collaboratively-trained attorney in Northern Virginia working with Curran Moher Weis, P.C. She is currently on the Board of the Collaborative Professionals of Northern Virginia. She is also a member of the state-wide collaborative practice group, Virginia Collaborative Professionals. Jenna’s practice focuses solely on domestic relations matters, including those involving divorce, custody and visitation, spousal support, child support, equitable distribution, adoption, and prenuptial agreements.

In October 2023, I had the privilege of gathering in Toronto, Canada with collaborative professionals from around the world for the Educational Forum presented by the International Association of Collaborative Professionals. 

            David Hoffman, a Boston attorney who teaches at Harvard Law School, presented to us about the Internal Family Systems Model, which is a tool collaborative professionals can use to examine why parties may get stuck when trying to reach a settlement and to help them move forward.

            The Internal Family Systems Model recognizes that people are made up of multiple “parts” and that those parts arose from their unique life experiences to meet their needs and protect them.  There are no bad parts, but sometimes a party’s parts may be in conflict, causing the party to feel ambivalent.  An example of this is a party who wants to settle but at the same time resists settlement and wants to go to court.  Part of the party may want the peace, certainty, and cost savings that will result from settlement, but another part of the party may want vindication and their day in court. 

            It is normal for a party to feel ambivalent or stuck during the collaborative divorce process. The job of the professionals on the collaborative team is to help the party get to the root of why they are feeling ambivalent; to understand which internal parts of them are in conflict; and, to help the party reconcile their own internal conflict, so they can make decisions and confidently move forward toward resolution.  The professionals on your collaborative team can provide the compassion and support you need to make the decisions that are right for you and your family.

Cynthia Radomsky is a Northern Virginia family law attorney who sits on the Board of the Collaborative Professionals of Northern Virginia, which is the local Northern Virginia practice group, and who is the current chair of the Virginia Collaborative Professionals (“VaCP”), which is the state-wide group of collaborative professionals.