FAQS

Litigation is the traditional legal approach. In litigation, each attorney works to convince a judge that his or her client’s version of reality is true. Often, this includes contradicting, or even disparaging, the other party, and challenging that person’s perception of reality. Trial is often compared to a battle, in which the best side wins. However, all attorneys understand that the "best side" doesn’t always win and that in many disputes, the party who "wins" at trial still loses in other ways.

Both the Collaborative Process and Mediation are committed to the voluntary and free exchange of information and a focus on a respectful and fair resolution that addresses the needs of both parties. In mediation, there is one “neutral” professional who helps the disputing parties try to reach an agreement. The mediator cannot offer legal advice or advocate for either party. If one party becomes unreasonable, lacks negotiating skill, or is emotionally distraught, the mediation can become unbalanced. If the mediator tries to address the problem, the mediator may be seen by one side or the other as biased. If the mediator does not find a way to resolve the problem, the mediation will fail or the agreement will be unfair.

The Collaborative Process is designed to deal more effectively with these potential problems, while maintaining the same commitment to reaching a settlement. Each party has immediate access to well-qualified legal advice that is built into the process. Even when one side or the other lacks negotiating skill or financial understanding, or is emotionally upset or angry, the playing field is leveled by the use of the Collaborative Team (Collaborative attorneys, coaches, a child specialist, a financial specialist). All team members share a mutual commitment and responsibility to collaborate with each other and to ensure that the process stays positive and productive.

The Collaborative Process should not be viewed as a low-cost alternative. However, Collaborative law cases cost significantly less than litigated ones, and also deliver intangible benefits not available in the court-based process. The cost of the Collaborative Process depends on a number of factors including the difficulty and number of issues to be resolved, the professionals’ hourly rates, the costs of getting the necessary data or information from others, and the amount of time required for you and your partner to reach a settlement.

Individual circumstances determine how quickly any dispute resolution process proceeds. The Collaborative Process usually takes less time than a litigated process. A litigated process has a defined schedule, and the time frame is affected by the number of cases in the court system and a judge’s availability. In the Collaborative Process, the clients and the Professional Team determine the pace and have ultimate control over the timing.

A Collaborative Team can be any combination of professionals that the parties choose to work with to resolve their case. The decision to add a particular Collaborative professional to the Collaborative Team is usually made at the beginning of the process, and is based on the parties’ unique needs and circumstances. Each Collaborative professional utilizes his or her particular expertise to help the parties reach an agreement. The process of separation and divorce creates challenging emotional, financial and child-related issues, which can often be most effectively resolved utilizing the interdisciplinary Collaborative Team approach.

After initial individual meetings with their Collaborative attorneys, the clients, the Collaborative attorneys, and any coaches, meet together to identify the couple’s issues and goals, to make any necessary interim arrangements regarding children or finances, and to identify information to be gathered to help develop options and reach goals. In addition, the parties can work individually and jointly with coaches to develop effective communication skills and to manage the intense emotions that often accompany separation and divorce. If there are children, the coaches work with the parents to develop a parenting plan that serves as a framework for co-parenting. Additional consultants such as a financial specialist, a child specialist, or an appraiser can also be hired to assist with other aspects of information-gathering and professional guidance. These team meetings serve as the venue for exchanging and clarifying information and for brainstorming possible options for a final settlement.

Collaborative professionals recognize that the focus needs to be on helping the entire family. To do this work, Collaborative attorneys must undergo a "paradigm shift." Instead of being dedicated to "winning" at all costs for their client, Collaborative attorneys are dedicated to helping their clients achieve the healthiest outcome for the family as a whole. Collaborative attorneys join the clients in pledging not to go to court and not to threaten to go to court in order to gain advantage in the settlement process. If the client does nonetheless file in court, the attorney must withdraw, and the client must retain new litigation counsel.

The Collaborative Process encourages creative problem-solving, and engages the strengths of all the Collaborative Team members and the parties to achieve the resolution most workable for each client and for the family as a whole. Collaborative attorneys are sensitive to this reality – that for their client to benefit, they must also be supportive of a good settlement for the other party. This is the special characteristic of the Collaborative Process that is not found in other alternative dispute resolution processes.

Separation or divorce can be emotionally challenging for children. In the Collaborative Process, parents work with mental health professionals, called coaches, who can help them resolve their differences and assist in crafting an effective co-parenting plan. Using coaches provides a safe environment for parents to express parenting concerns and an informed method to reach resolutions. One of the best parts of the Collaborative Process is the primary use of coaches, rather than attorneys, in resolving parenting issues. Reducing anger and hostility between parents, and working towards healthy co-parenting can benefit children now and as they grow into adults.

Yes! The Collaborative Process offers an alternative option to the traditional “arms length” drafting and negotiation that is commonly associated with a Premarital or Prenuptial Agreement. In the Collaborative Process, a couple sits down together with their team in a safe setting and discusses their financial concerns and priorities.  The result is a process much more akin to making a financial plan for the partnership, and the couple walks away from the process with a greater understanding of each other and how they want to handle their finances in the future.

No single approach is right for every couple, and how you choose to proceed should be discussed with a professional. In contrast to the often destructive and adversarial components of litigation, the Collaborative Process offers a healthy alternative as it addresses all of the dissolution issues while helping the parties develop more effective ways of interacting and communicating with one another. The Collaborative Process may be right for you if you:

•    want to avoid court and costly litigation
•    want full and open disclosure so you can make informed decisions
•    want a problem-solving approach with experts to support and guide you
•    want to be able to keep control of the process
•    want to focus on meeting the needs of your children
•    want a process that is respectful
•    want a process that is present and future-oriented
•    want a process that addresses the needs, interests, concerns and goals of all members of your family
•    want to get along with your co-parent for the sake of your children
•    want to reach an agreement that feels fair and is durable

The Collaborative Process is based on the principles of dignity, respect, openness and fairness. It is designed to minimize the hurt, anger and alienation that occur too frequently with divorce. Every part of the Collaborative Process — from open communications, to solution-based negotiation, to an out-of-court settlement — is intended to foster respect. When respect is given and received, self-esteem is likely to be preserved, making discussions more productive and an agreement more easily reached.

The end of a marriage or a relationship is difficult enough. The Collaborative Process believes that the divorce process doesn’t have to amplify the pain, but can provide an opportunity for the family to restructure in as healthy a way as possible.

Expensive legal procedures are not utilized to obtain information. The clients and their Collaborative attorneys agree, from the beginning, that they will share all relevant information and documents voluntarily and in a timely fashion. Withholding documents or creating unnecessary delays is not permitted. If a party is not acting in good faith, it is the role of the Collaborative professionals to address the situation. If a party continues to refuse to act in good faith, the Collaborative Process is terminated.

•    You Shape the Outcome.  Only you and the other party make decisions about your outcome.

•    You Retain Control.  When you litigate, you follow the court’s process, and you have no choice but to be in court as the court’s process dictates.  The Collaborative Process is driven by your needs and your schedule.  The parties decide how and when next steps will happen, not the court.

•    You Have Support.  You have a team of professionals who use their experience and specialized skills to help you identify your interests and those of your children and to provide information necessary for decision making.  

•    You Can Focus on Settlement.  Removing the threat of “going to court” reduces anxiety and fear, which allows you to focus on finding positive solutions.

•    You Personalize Your Settlement.  Every case is unique, and the Collaborative Process is designed to help you reach agreements uniquely tailored to your needs.  

•    You Lay the Groundwork for a Better Future.  In the Collaborative Process, we create an environment of cooperation and respect, which helps to reduce stress, increase understanding, and set the stage for a successful future.

To find out more about Collaborative Divorce:

Discuss Collaborative Divorce with your spouse, partner, or the other parent. See if you both want to explore it as an option for resolving your conflicts. Consider joint consultation with one of the allied mental health or financial professionals, who can meet with both of you to explore this option. Note: An attorney is bound by his/her professional ethics to meet with only one of you.

To address legal questions or concerns and how they may be addressed in the Collaborative Divorce Process, each party should consult their own Collaboratively trained lawyer.

Separating and divorcing are emotional events. Either party may be struggling with the emotional impact of the separation or divorce. And, if you need help communicating with each other about small or large decisions, then both parties can consult with a Collaborative Coach for communication coaching, to learn strategies and develop resources to better navigate the emotional currents of the Process.

If either parent has concerns about the impact of the separation or divorce on the children or desires guidance with developing a parenting plan for the children that meet the emotional and developmental needs of the children, both should consult with Collaborative Child Specialist together.

Both parties benefit from learning about the family’s finances and understanding their future needs and resources, so both parties should visit and consult with a Collaborative Financial Specialist together.

To start a Collaborative Divorce:

Cooperation and agreement between you and your spouse to seek a Collaborative Divorce is essential to a successful Process. Attorneys, by the ethics of their profession, may not meet with both parties to initiate the Process, so you may each meet with your own Collaboratively trained lawyer to start the Process.

And, if you would like to explore the potential benefit of a Collaborative Divorce together, then a joint meeting with one of the neutral mental health or financial professionals is an option. The Process can be introduced and questions answered, at which point you can proceed to assemble your Collaborative Team or each meet with your own Collaboratively trained lawyer, then assemble your Collaborative Team.

Once the Collaborative Team is assembled, they communicate with each other, ensure everyone is on the same page with the parties, and schedule the initial Collaborative meeting.

At the initial Collaborative meeting the parties sign the Collaborative Participation Agreement, share their interest, goals and needs, and begin planning their family’s “road map” to resolution.

With their team’s assistance, parties identify their pressing needs and the questions they need to answer to reach a resolution that works for everyone in their family. Then, the team and the parties select when and how often they need to meet to resolve all of their parenting and financial issues.

Often, prior to the initial Collaborative meeting and throughout the process, the parties meet with their shared or individual Collaborative Coach to address communication issues and emotional undercurrents so that they are at their best to discuss, evaluate and make decisions in the legal and financial meetings.

Also, prior to the initial Collaborative meeting and throughout the process, the parties may meet together with a financial specialist, to begin to identify short and long term financial goals and determine the types of information and documentation needed.

The number of meetings with one or more of the professionals is determined on a case-by-case basis in accordance with the parties’ needs.

A Collaborative case proceeds in an orderly, planned, and agreed upon manner.

Once the Collaborative Team is assembled, they communicate with each other, ensure everyone is on the same page with the parties and schedule the initial Collaborative meeting.

At the initial Collaborative meeting everyone thoroughly reviews and the parties sign the Collaborative Participation Agreement. The parties share their interest, goals and needs, and with the team begin planning their family’s “road map” to resolution.

With their team’s assistance, the parties identify their pressing needs and the questions they will need to answer to reach a resolution that works for everyone in their family.

And then, the team and the parties select what topics needs need to be addressed first, and schedule when and how often they will to meet to resolve all of their parenting and financial issues.

Often, prior to the initial Collaborative meeting and throughout the Process, the parties meet with their shared or individual Collaborative Coach to address communication issues and emotional undercurrents so that they are at their best to discuss, evaluate and make decisions in the legal and financial meetings.

Also, prior to the initial Collaborative meeting and throughout the Process, the parties may meet together with a financial specialist, to begin to identify short and long term financial goals and determine the types of information and documentation needed.

The number of meetings with one or more of the professionals is determined on a case-by-case basis in accordance with the parties’ needs.

Once the parties have agreement on their parenting and financial issues, their Collaborative lawyers draft the comprehensive settlement agreement and the clients and needed team members meet to review and finalize it for the parties to sign.

At the appropriate time the Collaboratively trained lawyers prepare the necessary divorce papers and file them with the court. By working together in the Collaborative Divorce Process the divorce may be concluded without unnecessary delay or expense.

The Collaborative Process may be utilized for most family concerns (and many civil or commercial disputes):

• Separation
• Temporary agreements
• Custody or visitation
• Child support
• Spousal support
• Changing support, custody or visitation
• Post Divorce matters
• Pre-marital agreements
• Unmarried partners

A Collaborative Lawyer is hired to help you settle your case without using the threat of going to court:

• The Collaborative Lawyer is trained to work in a non-adversarial way with you and as a part of a Collaborative team.
• The Collaborative Lawyer is hired only as a settlement attorney and will not represent you in a contested court battle against your spouse or the other party. If the Collaborative Process terminates, they will assist their clients to transition to litigation lawyers.
• By removing the “threat of going to court” as a weapon in the negotiations, each party, each lawyer, coach, financial neutral or child specialist gets to focus all their efforts on helping you create an agreement that meets the interest, goals and needs of everyone in the family.
• Each party has their own Collaborative Lawyer and each party instructs their lawyer to adhere to the Collaborative commitments and principles to which both parties agree when they sign the Collaborative Participation Agreement. The Collaborative Lawyers will be transparent, share all information and advice, not take advantage of mistakes, give candid legal advice even if it favors the other party, respect the interests, goals and needs of both parties, and the decisions they make.
• Your Collaborative Lawyer listens to you; is your legal advisor; shares legal advice; helps you make informed decisions; supports and guides you during Collaborative meetings; and helps you evaluate your options.
• The Collaborative Lawyers by contract are instructed to work together to guide the Collaborative Divorce; help gather, share and explain the information needed for reaching resolutions; help you and the team brainstorm and evaluate options; advise you (and share with the team) about the law and legal effect of your decisions.
• Collaborative Lawyers draft the final parenting plans, the property settlement agreements and contracts, deeds and orders needed to implement the parties’ agreements.
• The Collaborative Lawyers work together to prepare, file and finalize the no-fault divorce and any additional uncontested matters such as custody or retirement orders.

• Collaborative Coaches help the parties to manage emotions and maintain and improve communication and conflict resolution skills.
• Collaborative Coaches, though trained as counselors or therapists, do not provide therapeutic services to Collaborative clients. They can make referrals to therapists if such services are needed or desired.
• Collaborative Coaches assist the parents with developing a parenting plan for their children with input from the Collaborative Child Specialist.

Collaborative Child Specialists are the “voice of the children.” They meet with the parents. They usually meet with each child. And then, they share, with the parents, insight about how the children are doing so the parenting agreements best meet the needs of the children. They have training and experience in child development so can educate the parents about how the parenting plan can address the developmental needs of each child.

• The Collaborative Financial Specialist helps the team have neutral conversations about the money, the property division, budgets and support needs all of which can be highly emotional issues.
• The Financial Specialist can efficiently gather from the clients the needed financial documentation, organize and summarize and present it to the Collaborative lawyers and clients in a neutral manner.
• As settlement options are explored, the Financial Specialist may evaluate how the proposed divisions address the clients’ financial goals and how they may or may not provide for each client in the future.
• A Financial Specialist can educate the spouse who does not have the same knowledge and understanding of the family finances so that both clients are capable of participating in brainstorming options, evaluating and making the financial decisions needed to reach a resolution that is acceptable to both.
• A Financial Specialist has credentials such as Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Certified Public Accountant (CPA) and may also hold a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) certificate. The financial specialist may address such topics as income tax and cash flow issues, executive compensation, stock options, cost basis analysis, retirement planning, estate planning, education expenses funding, investment allocation and income generation, and risk management issues such as life, disability and property and casualty insurance.

• When parties elect to utilize the Collaborative Divorce Process, both of them sign a Collaborative Participation Agreement which is a contract, a binding agreement, which sets out the guiding principles of the Collaborative Process so the each party is fully familiar with the do’s and don’ts required of each of them and their Collaborative Lawyers and additional team members.
• In their Collaborative Participation Agreement each party commits to
  • share complete financial information and documents with each other, whether requested or not;
  • hire the Collaborative lawyers and other professionals only to give advice and help work out an agreement, not to litigate in court. If either person files a court case before all the issues are settled, the Collaborative lawyers, coaches, child and financial specialists cannot be involved in it;
  • to work with mutual respect, correct mistakes and only take action upon mutual agreement.
• Prior to signing the Collaborative Participation Agreement each Collaborative Lawyer individually and with the Team goes over the document with the client, so that client’s make an informed decision to commit to the Collaborative Process.
• Signing the Collaborative Participation Agreement starts the Collaborative Divorce.
• In addition to the Collaborative Participation Agreement each client signs an individual “retainer & fee agreements with a Collaborative Process” addendum with their own Collaborative Lawyer.
• Also, the clients sign retainer & fee agreements with additional team member such as their coach, child specialist and/or financial specialist.